There is an implicit problem with being a human.
We bore into this world and enjoy the basic comforts of food and hugs. Family life and education crowd us. They catapult us into different tribes of people that constantly surround us. We learn from those around us and depend on them to learn the way of society.
Then society turns on us. The admission of loneliness becomes a taboo. There is a contrast between growing up in a tribe and then venturing away to leave. Normalcy is created that since you don’t grow up feeling lonely, it should stay this way.
This is the problem with being human.
There is an issue with modernity. Our immediate predecessors appear surpassed because they don’t speak of loneliness. The lack of admittance makes this feeling abnormal. People get taught to believe that being normal equates to not spending time alone. Especially now with these social platforms and endless opportunities to connect with people.
So how do we actually connect after acknowledging that we are lonely?
What enables us to connect is showing our human dimensions. Having success will get you the interest of others but that does not mean it will be the fruit of connection. When you dare to show your humility and weaker parts, that is where the connection builds up with someone.
If you open up about mistakes, it allows friends to open up too. This brings you into a tribe because of daring to say certain things. The road to connection is not through strengths but through weaknesses.
The enemy of connection is shame. The thoughts in my head saying: “I do not deserve to be heard because I am too weird to share that this happens.” A need to run away. We feel ashamed. This is not the case. Leaning into that vulnerability opens doors to the connection. Call a friend during that time.
Embrace loneliness and become aware of it. It is normal to feel this way. First, admit it to yourself. Then admit it to others.