1,826 days. That’s how many days ago March 30, 2020 was—the day I sent out my first newsletter to ten friends and family.

When I wrote that first Substack post, Letter #1 from a Learn-It-All, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

And now, five years later, I can say without a doubt that this ritual of weekly sharing has made my life better in more ways than I ever expected.

What Really Matters

In my twenties, I’ve gotten into business school, earned a college degree, and landed a management consulting job. I’ve sailed across Lake Michigan, run three half marathons, completed an Olympic triathlon, started working for myself, and published my own book.

All of those are cool accomplishments—but honestly? Any Joe Schmoe can do that.

But writing and sharing online every single week for five years?

That’s different. That’s unique as heck.

It’s the self-directed creative pursuit I’m proudest of in my life.

What I Don’t Have

This pursuit has never been planned out.

I don’t have a cookie-cutter strategy.
I don’t have skyrocketing growth.
I don’t have the alleged 1,000 true fans.
I don’t care.

Tortoise game for the win. Here’s what slow and steady looks like

What I Do Have

I have confidence in my identity as a writer.
I have courage to create.
I have clarity about what I care about.
I have a reason to connect ideas.
I have inspiration from those who show up in the arena over and over again.

And no, it’s not about the streak.

Over the past five years, there have been 261 weeks—and I’ve published 255 letters. That means I’ve missed a few here and there, and honestly? I’m okay with that. It was never about being perfect. It was about always returning. Again and again, I came back to the page and express it openly.

This online sharing is about a pact I made with myself.

My Weekly Pact

No one forced me to open my computer each week, type away at the keys, and hit publish.

I chose to do that.

Even when Cruella—the little voice of fear perched on my shoulder—whispered, “You don’t have time,” or “This is stupid, quit while you’re ahead,” I made time anyway.

I showed up to be in the arena.

Because I’ve learned something essential about myself:

My courage to create would die without a deadline.
The weekly pact is what allows my creativity to breathe, to stretch, to exist.
Without the container, the spark fades.
But within the structure, something beautiful happens.

Five Things That Have Kept Me Going

(1) I am the brand.

It’s never been about the perfect title or the beautiful banner image. I still don’t even have a cover image. What matters is that I show up, week after week, faults and all.

As Mike Posner sings, “I am the brand, therefore anything I do is on-brand.”

The way I show up, what I share, how I write—it’s all on brand because it’s me. Writing what’s true to me, on my terms, frees me from perfectionism and lets me begin.

(2) Say something—especially when I don’t feel like it.

Most weeks, I don’t feel like I have something worthwhile to say. But I say something anyways. And more often than not, I realize afterwards that it was worthwhile.

The act of sharing keeps the creative well from drying up. It makes space for more creative ideas.

(3) Don’t wait to feel like it.

I rarely feel “in the mood” to publish. I don’t wait for motivation—I create momentum through action.

Isaac Newton said a body at rest stays at rest. The same goes for writing.

Growing up, I was a ballerina most comfortable in the back row. I didn’t love recitals; I liked practicing better because flaws were allowed. But just because I didn’t feel ready for the stage didn’t mean I wasn’t. Being a back-row ballerina has its downsides. Sometimes the curtain opens, and it’s your turn to step into the spotlight.

(4) Stay curious—not outcome-obsessed.

Most projects in my life have an end date. Thai massage school ends in two weeks. My teaching contract at a Thai school just ended yesterday. But after a year of writing, I realized I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want an exit plan for this.

If writing helps me process life, why not keep sharing pieces of that reflection?

When dread creeps in the day of publishing, I treat it like a creative challenge. Instead of forcing a topic, I follow what I’m curious about—even if it’s writing a letter to boredom.

(5) Make it my own.

Every day, I open my laptop and see an inspiring quote on my Momentum browser. It’s a small ritual I love. I’ve built my newsletter to include things that feel like me—postcard check-ins, word etymologies, quotes, song lyrics, photos, jokes only future-me might get.

Sometimes I wish it could be short and structured like James Clear’s 3-2-1 newsletter.
But usually it meanders like a yellow brick road, because that’s how my brain works.
That’s the point. It stays sustainable and joyful because it’s mine.

What’s Stayed True

In five years, almost everything about my life has changed—
Where I live.
My passport number.
How I make money.
What I believe.
The hobbies that fill my time.
My friends.
My favored sleep pattern.
My alcohol consumption habits.
My hair.
My diet.

But one thing has stayed true:

My need to write.

No matter how messy life gets, I need to express.

Apart from my social security number, my love for bananas, weekly swims, and the people closest to me—writing is the most intentional, chosen pursuit I’ve devoted my energy to in my adult life.

A Promise to Myself

Back in 2020, replied to my tweet with a podcast recommendation for Tim Ferriss’s interview with actor Hugh Jackman. The most compelling part that shook me was a five year creative contract he made with himself.

I was so inspired, I wrote my own.

I promised myself I would show up to my creativity—in the form of writing—for five years.

And now... here we are.

And I’m ready to keep going.

~~~

Sawadee ka fellow learn-it-all 👋

Greetings from Chiang Mai, Thailand! 🇹🇭

I just moved here today. Woowee what a past couple days it’s been moving here. It’s been a bit emotion as I’ve had some goodbyes to say and accrued too many books again as I do when I live anywhere. I start Thai massage school tomorrow. Both yesterday and today I received massages to cope with my stress and I’m so excited to see how this will go. I’ll share some updates as they come. For now, I’m grateful to be done shlepping my suitcases. :)

❓Question to think about

What do I want to put in my creativity contract?

🎧Listening

Noah’s Ark by Mike Posner.

One of my all-time favorite songs and albums.

I was a short lil' Jewish kid, I ain't speak much
My whole life now is somethin' that I've dreamed up
With no handout, I look at my heroes and that's what I am now
Yoga class headband now
People say I'm off-brand, how?
I am the brand
Therefore, anything I do is on-brand now
I'm on-brand now
People got attached to a version of me
And it hurts when they see a person who's free
But I'm so grateful for all of these lessons
Twice as much money, half the possessions
No drugs, now the vision's clear
People mad 'cause the old me isn't here
All my gold jewelry just disappeared
That's the universe tellin' me to start switchin' gears
Deeper the human, the deeper the songs
Look at my life, the dream isn't gone
I saw all of this two years ago
It's almost like it was me reading my poem
People copy, but they copy wrong
Puttin' out a bunch of sloppy songs
If I die in the Rockies, don't
Forget to bury me with the Petoskey stone
And opportunities keep on poppin' up
Killer concepts come to me in shavasana
This is just a intro, another vibe
The rest comes when I make it to the other side

🔍Word to define

Afflatus: a divine creative impulse or inspiration.

A creative rush, a kind of divine wind that moves through you.

Example: This writing practice has become an afflatus. It started as discipline; now it feels like being carried.

Etymology

"miraculous communication of supernatural knowledge or power," 1660s, from Latin afflatus "a breathing upon, blast," figuratively "inspiration," noun use of past participle of afflare "to blow upon," from ad "to" + flare "to blow" (according to Watkins from PIE root *bhle- "to blow"). The literal meaning "a blowing or breathing upon" is rare in English, this sense being taken by afflation.

Source: Etymonline

🌟Quote to inspire

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds;

who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

—Theodore Roosevelt

📸Photo of the Week

Taken on a hike yesterday in Chiang Rai, Thailand—because some milestones deserve a waterfall moment.

🙏Shoutouts

David Perell and for creating the writing experience “Write of Passage” whose course and community gave me the nudge I needed to start the thing after my second cohort.
and who still show up each week with their own newsletters (that I highly reccomend). We started on Substack around similar times in our writing online journeys. Personally knowing them makes this pursuit seem less crazy and more “normal”.
writing in Are long-games real? that “what I think makes this a long-term game is no desire to exit.” This made me pause and ponder on my own writing.
sharing this note of publishing every 8.9 days for 148 newsletters that inspired me to write this when I realized my own 7.1 cadence.
‘s post that made me realize how important constraints are for showing up in my writing.
’s metaphor of a creativity faucet never seizes to resonate.
for inspiring me with this note about showing up to allow other creations to appear
This invitation to be imperfect on the art of thinking outloud from .
Mike Posner for creating music that makes me smile and feel seen.
Hugh Jackman for inspiring the heck out of me on the Tim Ferriss Show podcast mentioned above.

~~~

I appreciate you reading this!

If ideas resonated, I’d love you to press the heart button, leave a comment, reply to this email, or reach me at vermetjl@gmail.com.

Keep on learning 😁

K̄ha Bhun ka 🌺 🌺

Jen

PS- if you’d like to read my favorite letters, the best way to encourage my work is to buy my book on Amazon here.

PS - in case you missed my first ever newsletter from March 30, 2020 you could check it out here ;)

If you’re reading this because someone shared this newsletter with you, welcome! I’d love it if you signed up:

🥳 Still Writing, Five Years Later