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Unknowing Myself

2 min

I’ve unknown every version of myself prior

Like slipping out of old clothes,

Sewing new ones

With vibrant colors I never knew existed.

And better form-fitting

than I knew possible

Like moving away from one-size-fits-all

and seeing myself as me

for the first time.

In this past year

I’ve aged

And simultaneously

become youthful.

I get to be whoever

I want to be.

The only expectations

are the ones I put on myself.

Since everything is novel,

I get to begin again

at anything I pursue.

What does humble mean for me?

Regardless, I’ve relished in it

With each bruised shin,

Mispronounced street name,

Wet wipe out,

Meditative mind wander,

improper chord strum,

And missed spike.

I’ve found friends

That I’d call if I ever went back to jail.

We’ve dove into the deep end.

Past the surface level connection

of the waterfall mushroom kitty pool.

The community

I wouldn’t feel this sense of belonging

without the people that I have met.

They’ve brought me in.

As neighborly as I’ve ever felt

Gifting me mint and carpools

And made me feel like I am welcome.

This cultivated community ‘ohana

lets me swim with

Trust and encouragement and joy.

I have permission to prance

Barefoot across the field

Sing aloud on my moped

Attempt supported shoulder stands

To be alone instead of lonely.

This island’s vast beauty

Whose sunset skies leave me speechless

Tongue-tied even

With waves of wonder

Traveling from far and wide

validating my love of the ocean

Also with its tears

from the many fears

Where the surf can be scary.

This place simultaneously a safe space

Like a cocoon

where I am surrounded by love

Where I get back up.


And much mahalo nui

To reinvent, redefine and reroute

Gratitude for my growth.

Finding friendship.


Listening to my intuition.

Cultivating courage.

Doing nothing

yet always something.

I finally feel like

Through unknowing myself

I’ve surfaced more of who

I know I am.

That magical shift

I am grateful for.


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