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Aloha fellow learn-it-all 👋

Greetings from Honolulu, Hawaii!

Happy New Year my fellow students of life. I hope you each had a heart-filling holiday season! :)

Wow how great it feels to be back in Hawaii! It felt like the island was on fire from all the fireworks — no joke, my eyeballs had never witnessed so many fireworks and sounds of “cheehoo!” before in my life. It was an unforgettable night full of dancing, splashing in a jacuzzi, and watching fire spinning.

Anywho, back in October of 2023 I invited you to write a letter to your future self to open in the new year. This is me now *inviting you to find that letter* and open it (if you haven’t already and forgot about it.)

As a mini-celebration, there are 602 of you now. Wahoo! I’ve been sharing these letters each week for nearly four years in April of this year. It has been by far the most fun creative project of my life so far. I am overflowing with boundless gratitude for each of you to keep this going.

With that said, I’d love to get to know what you’re interested in more. A friend asked me “what’s your readership into?”, and honestly I’m not quite sure! “Parasocial” is a word I recently learned that means “one-sided relationships”. I want less of those in my life. Even though I reckon this newsletter is a catalyst for creating those, I’m attempting to minimize that though.

I’m open to making changes to tweak this personal project to make it more fresh. At the end of the day, these letters are still going to be my own, but I appreciate guidance on my path to creation.

It’d mean the world to me if you filled out as much or as little of this form. Thank you so SO much!

Now, let’s dive into letter 191 from a learn-it-all. Enjoy!

💭 Annual Reflection Thoughts

The end of a year is a beautiful marker. Whether you subscribe to setting resolutions or not, I see it as a collective time where all of humanity gets to come together and celebrate a year of moments that can now be turned into memories after 365 days. And we get to feel like a blank page (or at least have to go out and buy a new calendar).

❓Question to think about

What are 100 experiences I had in 2023 that I want to remember?

🖊️ Writing

I have a voice that often tells me I’m not doing enough.

Some may call it ambition, which I’m grateful for most days, but this voice can also be annoying as heck! I feel bulletproof with a shield against this voice by celebrating with this list.

I hope you have fun reading and I invite you to celebrate and make your own list!

2023, the year that I…

1. Learned to hula and Tahitian dance
2. Went outrigger canoe surfing
3. Slept in a yurt
4. Solo traveled to a foreign continent and was exposed to different religions like Islam and Hinduism and flopped many times
5. Experienced an awakening looking into the eyes of an octopus in Indonesia
6. Saw a rainbow while sailing a 50-foot boat 10 knots across Lake Huron, Michigan with my dad and brother
7. Dressed up as a jellyfish for Halloween without a mask
8. Steered a sailboat with dolphins dancing in my wake
9. Delayed my flight from New York City to go to a reading rhythms book party on a rooftop in Brooklyn
10. Didn’t drink alcohol
11. Drank decaffeinated hot beverages in the morning
12. Didn’t consume weed
13. Didn’t dye my hair
14. Dated another fire spinner
15. Went on long walks, many with a naked wrist and phoneless
16. Danced barefoot at a wedding without underwear or shaven armpits
17. Met my zesty musical biker friend
18. Started chronologically reading the first three books of the Bible after reading a book by John Mark Comer
19. Meditated on Mary Oliver’s quote “Attention is the beginning of devotion” for months which lead me to the mindset of snail-paced living
20. Went on my second 5-day Zen silent sesshin called “Hele Malie” at National Volcano Park, Big Island Hawaii
21. Decided not to lead the full day of backpacking
22. Hosted my friend for her first time in Hawaii and we enjoyed eating beets, lychee, and persimmons together
23. Hosted a hometown visit in Michigan and we biked to everywhere I grew up
24. Cried seeing Noah Kahan sing Moving Sideways live
25. Saw Hawaii’s first American idol Iam Tongi sing at Kahuku
26. Wrote and printed 525 advanced reader copies of the HOPA book (my main professional project of this year with my two co-authors)
27. Corralled a beta cohort of 20 readers for the HOPA book
28. Led a journaling workshop IRL to seventh graders at Kaimuki Middle School
29. Kissed a man swimming in the ocean
30. Joined a swim club
31. Completed two triathlons
32. Took an acting class
33. Signed up for voice lessons
34. Poured my passion into people. They see versions of me that are (usually) better than the one I see of myself
35. Couldn’t sit in the chair for a week because of saddle soreness from biking up 6000 feet on Haleakala on Maui
36. Made a tribute video for my friend's 26th birthday, 28th birthday, and my parents’ 34th wedding anniversary
37. Went on four first dates in a month to explore romantic connection
38. Lived in northern Michigan for two months with my brother
39. Fell back in love with swimming, bought a wet suit, and became a beginner at open-water swimming
40. Swam 3 miles in open water in Lake Michigan
41. Swam a race under the Mackinac Bridge with 4-foot waves in 60-degree water and placed first
42. Joined a running club in northern Michigan
43. Spontaneously signed up for a triathlon the week before because I felt fit and my new friend invited me to join her
44. Flew to Austin, Texas to meet up with Internet friends
45. Skipped a biathlon and my friend’s waterpark party to go to the ER for an anxiety attack
46. My road bike bumblebee got stolen
47. Bought a new battery for my moped
48. Opened a bank account in Hawaii
49. Facilitated a poetry class called “Rhythm, Rhyme, Repeat”
50. Felt raw after a full body scrubbing ‘massage’ on a 23-hour layover in Seoul, South Korea
51. Started eating meat in moderation again
52. Ate Korean barbecue in Korea
53. Recorded my newsletter with audio voiceover majority of the weeks this year when the environment allowed for it
54. Got to 600 readers of my Letters from a learn-it-all from 493 last year after writing 50 letters (140 to 190)
55. Shared my poetry more openly and made poetic friends and gifted friends poems on impulse
56. Skinny dipped under the full moon
57. Hiked up koko head alone at sunrise
58. Realized I needed to stand up for my needs, like buying bananas because they bring me such boundless joy
59. Saw humpback whale tales flapping before I went surfing at Diamond Head
60. Walked up to the Makapu’u Lighthouse with my Mom and Dad to watch whales
61. Saw several sea turtles as beached whales on Poipu beach on Kauai
62. Took the same online writing course for the 8th time
63. Flew to Singapore to have a dim sum lunch with an inspiring as hell writer named Visa
64. Enjoyed potluck picnics and met Hawaiians
65. Got active on the fitness app Strava
66. Wrote movie reviews on Letterboxd for every movie I watched
67. Left 1 book review on Goodreads after attempting monogamous book reading
68. Discovered musicians that I love listening too like Lorde
69. Hungout with friends for 30 hours straight and brushed my teeth with them
70. Discovered that I love media, and I love being social, but I don’t love social media, so I started my ongoing break from social media (facebook, instagram, and twitter) on July 15th
71. Deleted all but a couple of apps (the Bible and Heroic) from my phone’s home screen
72. Took a week off from work to be in Indonesia on a sailboat to see Komodo dragons
73. Camped in a truck off Waimea Bay to watch surf history get made by Luke Shephardson at the Eddie Aikau Big Wave Invitational
74. Discovered the mandolin instrument exists after my first bluegrass concert by Trampled by Turtles
75. Thoughtfully DMed one of my favorite musicians, Quinn XCII, and received free tickets to his sold-out show hours before it began
76. Facilitated friendships between my beautiful friends
77. Bought a lucky bamboo plant hoping it’d bring me luck if my courage was lacking
78. Dog and house sat for extra money
79. Walked for 12 hours again
80. Walked Kaena Point and discovered the beautiful albatross birds
81. Saw snapping turtles having sex on a Monday morning in Michigan
82. Flopped into the water multiple times learning to standup paddle (SUP) board
83. Was rejected from donating blood at the blood bank
84. Was rejected from a master’s program on conflict resolution at UH
85. Went to Steamboat Springs, Colorado with my cousin and her college ski club to ski out west. I didn’t break any legs
86. Created “in and out” lists each month of intentions
87. Perfected baking banana bread with walnuts
88. Had game nights with friends and learned how to play hearts and gracefully lose at Catan
89. On my Spotify Wrapped, River Flows Into You was my top song and Pop was my top genre yet again
90. Hugged people more often and for longer
91. Learned to make shave ice
92. Threw a tea party for my birthday and realized I’ll never figure life out
93. Took a month off from cardio to rest after I injured my left ankle and neck
94. Took naps every day for a month
95. Went to a pink party with my family
96. Parasailed on the Fourth of July
97. Saw an IFS therapist for 6 months
98. Did hot yoga without fainting
99. Got my overhand serve over consistently on Thanksgiving
100. Had the most unforgettable loving, and ecstatic night in a bathrobe at a New Year’s Eve party

2023, the year I was courageous, sought out peace, and dove deeper into connection.

In 2023, Peace, Courage, and Connection were my three words. This was the mockup I created last year that helped me converge on these three themes:

I’m still exploring what’s on deck for me as my intentions for 2024. More to come.

📚 Annual Review Resources

Everyone typically tends to jump ahead to what they want to accomplish in the new year. In 2020, I took ia workshop led by Tiago Forte to review 2019 where we remembered, connected, and created a plan for the upcoming year.

There is power in the review process of looking back on the year. I get to figure out why certain projects didn't come to fruition. The learning comes from assessing how you can tweak it and run an alternate experiment instead. Reflection is a key part of setting your future self up for success.

Fear not if you have never done an annual reflection before, below are more resources than you could ever need. I recommend choosing one and going for it. My intention is not to create analysis paralysis for you.

Here are seven frameworks from people I admire:

1. Per my mention earlier, Tiago Forté’s template and his step-by-step guide.
2. Dickie Bush and Nicolas Cole’s The Yearly Review Template
3. James Clear answers these questions:
   What went well this year?
   What didn’t go so well this year?
   What am I working toward?
   —> You can find his past reviews here.
4. Anne Laure Le Cunff created this template in slides last year that I found helpful with different buckets similar to James Clear.
5. Khe Hy has a Notion template with some really quality questions I am liking. My favorite: what makes me come alive?
6. Steve Schlafman’s Ultimate Annual Review Template
7. Sahil Bloom’s 2024 Annual Planning Guide

My version currently is opening letters to myself, and rereading old journals, my past writing on my website, past newsletters, and monthly reviews.

I’m probably going to do a blend of a few different templates to make it my own and make this more fun!

📚 Reading

For an additional reading list of inspiration of 2022 annual reviews, here are ten below:

1. Mark Manson explains here why he thinks it's better to focus on skills rather than goals
2. David Perell's 9,000 word review from 2021 is well worth the read in my opinion. I like how he breaks down his decision making
3. Resolutions for a Life Worth Living: Attainable Aspirations Inspired by Great Humans of the Past Issue by Maria Popova in Brain Pickings
4. Salman Ansari shares his process with simple steps of reviewing and reflecting
5. In Tiago Forte's 2021 Annual Review I particularly resonated with his six favorite problems near the end
6. Nix’s Life Lessons from 2022.
7. Roxine Kee’s Annual Review 2022. She goes over what went well, what didn’t go well, what did I learn, and what’s next? Her personal MBA is inspiring as heck!
8. Matt Yao’s The Art of Reflection. He robustly thought out the location of his reflection, the shape, size, and different cadences and format each having their own purpose.
9. Sarah Wood’s freetime and most popular five essays. I actively think about how I can have less roads to travel in my life.
10. Shiv’s Three Things to Try in the New Year. I feel so seen by Shiv as another who deals with a case of overthinking. I love her reference to the Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron and writing letters to our future selves or younger self. We could even write just a single word as an intention.

Happy reflecting 🥸

And yes, I shamelessly copy and pasted this from letter 139 because the inspiration they provide does not have an expiration date.

🎧Listening

Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield was the first song I ever bought on iTunes for 99 cents.

It was back in 2005 to upload onto my iPod Shuffle that I was rewarded for qualifying for the MICSA (Michigan Inter-Club Swimming Association) Summer swim finals as a nine-year-old for the 50-yard backstroke against majority ten-year-olds. It was a freaking BIG deal. I wore a speed suit two sizes smaller than usual, that’s how big of a deal it was. To you kiddos who weren’t alive before the iPod shuffle got terminated in 2006, it looked like this:

Anyway, Apple product history tangent over. Here’s this week’s song and some of my fave lyrics in it. If you haven’t heard it before, stop, drop and roll. Or I mean plug in. Listen to this song and you’ll thank me later :)

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

🎬 Watching

Thanks to watching this Rom Com Anyone But You it helped me rediscover the serenity song I’ve been listening to on repeat ever since listed above. The movie successfully squeezes many tropes into the storyline and I’d rewatch it. Only watch, if you’re looking for something cheesy.

🔍Word to define

Aplomb: self-confidence or assurance, especially when in a demanding situation

🌟Quote to inspire

“I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection.” – Leonardo Da Vinci

📸Photo of the Week

Glimpses of my magical evening in Honolulu of the themed “Baths and Bubbles” party with great people and immaculate vibes dancing the night away with sparse sleep. Jacuzzis are always recommended for a stellar time. ✨💖

🙏Shoutouts

• To all the friends I celebrated the new year with — thank you. It was an unforgettable first time diving into the new year with warm weather!

I appreciate you reading this!

If ideas resonate, I’d love you to press the heart button, leave a comment, reply to this email, or reach me at vermetjl@gmail.com. If you forgot who I am, I welcome you to my online home.

Keep on learning 😁

Mahalo 🌺

Jen

PS - in case you missed up top, I’d love it if you could fill out this end-of-year reader form

PPS - in case you missed last week’s, I wrote about 😶‍🌫️ Finding Peace in a Gray Day

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